Pure Satire

From the funniest site around http://www.johnhoward.blogspot.com/
Monday, September 13, 2004
Ugh, I had to do that stupid debate with Mark Latham today. I forget how boring politics can be sometimes. Like, in Parliament I only have to get up and speak every so often, and the rest of the time I can just sit back and play snake on my mobile, or draw biro tattoos on my arm or whatever. But one hour of discussing politics without even getting ad breaks? Yawn. Mark kept using all these dorkus catch phrases, like "ease the squeeze". I've watched Burgo's Catchphrase, too, y'know, and I can make up catch phrases that'll have the ALP totally spewing. Just wait until my "Look 'em in the eye, and tell 'em a lie" and "Join the push to support George W. Bush" campaigns are unveiled. Not to mention the equally catchy "Mark Latham is a stupid loser, and everyone hates him because he's stupid and he smells, and I'm cool and he drools" initiative. The debate was also crap 'cause they had this stupid panel of journalists asking us questions. It was such a hassle 'cause it meant that I had to twist things around to what I wanted to talk about all the time.